No really, this was my day. For real.

Sometimes there is a day that goes so ass backwards it leaves me wondering the following morning if the day really happened or if it was a terrible, terrible dream. Yesterday was one of those days. The hubs turned 40 and I had the best of plans – I should have known the shit would hit the fan simply based on the fact I had a plan…

The hubs office was throwing a luncheon for him and the kids and I were attending as a surprise. This meant we had to be there on time. Yep, if you are keeping track that is two strikes against me, a plan and a deadline. We HAD to leave the house my 10:30. Hubs was arriving at the gathering at 11:30, we have a solid 45 minute drive and needed to get into the location and settled before 11:30. Right, as if.

10:05 kids dressed, hair styled and settled in their rooms with books. I however still had not gotten into the shower yet.
10:10 exit shower to find both kids covered, yes covered in diaper cream. Rock star thought it would be relaxing if he put lotion on himself and the baby. How nice of him.
10:10-10:15 five very precious minutes spent yelling, and then yelling a little more.
10:15 wipe down two kids, change clothes and restyle Itty Bitty’s (formerly very cute and fluffy) hair into a greased slicked ponytail.
10:25 throw on my clothes; pack up some make-up as it will have to be applied in the car.
10:30 gathering items to walk out the door and catch the smell. Yep, full-blown poop blowout all over Itty Bitty. Enter round three of cleaning and dressing the baby.
10:40 I’m am now getting nailed with morning sickness. Of course. Barf, Barf, Barf.
10:50 Head to car, which of course is parked in the driveway, not in the garage and it is pouring cats and dogs. Without fail, in the haste and hustle and bustle of getting the kids to the car Rock Star wipes out…in mud.
Let’s just say we were slightly late for the party. But the good news is, the only person who runs more late than I is the hubs.

The really sick thing? The morning was the best part of the day. After lunch I had a million birthday dinner errands to run, yeah with two kids in a thunderstorm. The house was of course a wreck and we were having company for dinner. You know how there is two kinds of guests, the ones who really know how you live and don’t mind clearing a spot of the couch to sit or refilling the toilet paper holder themselves and then there are those who need the house to be in June Cleaver order when they arrive? I was hosting the second group.

Yep, that was my very, oh so very, real day.