Yesterday was one of those days where outside things made my heart heavy. Realization of damaged relationships, scary news for family I love deeply, dealing with an overscheduled week, physically ill, kids who were over tired from long nights of scary weather all left me feeling overwhelmed and powerless by the end of the day. I was awake most of the night, thinking, worrying, and trying in vain to come up with a quick “fix” for all of these perceived problems. At some point around 3am my mind and body began to weaken enough that I had no choice but to surrender to the realization that life circumstances are what they are – for me and others and all the lost sleep and worry in the world will not change them. So, deep breath, and now a day focused on the basics.
-With compassion and personal responsibility I believe in the ability to heal true friendships.
-My home, help and care are open and available to my family. Period. I need not worry about their safety and wellbeing, although life may require changes of them they are strong and capable and at the end of the day have people they can rely on.
-Appointments can be cancelled.
-I have the ability to work with my body to heal it, I just need to be patient and give it time.
I will live with the karma I create today. What do I want to live with tomorrow? Choices are everything.
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
Heavy Heart and Refocusing
I am a free spirit, growing in my creative desires. I write, read, sew, knit, craft and garden. I am striving to live a more natural life everyday for Mother Earth but mostly for the health and well being of my children. I am above all committed to my family, my hilarious husband and life partner of 15 years makes sure I laugh every day. We cloth diaper, babywear, share sleep, and generally live a child led existence. I am strongly against the idea that children must be socialized but believe vehemently in the idea that children need their parents close and always - until. Until they are ready to leave and explore. Lest you think my life is too tranquil and nothing but sitting and reading books while children play with handmade toys; I spend the better part of my days wiping noses and butts, cooking, cleaning, cooking and cleaning some more, figuring out where that (insert any bizarre item you can think of here) came from, and explaining why Mama needs a TO and nap. Above all, I am human. I fail myself and family everyday and every day I am committed to give tomorrow another shot. Because after all, tomorrow will provide another opportunity to smile and laugh!
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