Tuesday, October 27, 2009


So I couldn't sleep last night and was up around 2am and decided to work on the (green template) I put up Sunday night. You couldn't leave comments and there was a bunch of junk at the top. After an hour of efforts, all in vain, I gave up and went in search of a new template. Hope you likely. I am not sure about it this morning. Not surprising as decisions made at 3am are often questionable, but I will sit with it for a while and see how we (the template and I that is) relate.
Today begins several days of moving for my family. We FINALLY have a closed deal and have the keys to the new digs. I plan to be too exhausted to do much blogging until I have that first long bath and glass of wine amidst unpacked boxes at the new place so you will just have to imagine all my disasters over the next few days in your minds eye knowing of course that I will surface in a few days with what will surely be at least one funny story involving poop. Because, well...don't they all?

Sunday, October 25, 2009

You Like?

Muchas gracias a mi Kate amor por la punta de la nueva plantilla.

Saturday, October 24, 2009

I Have Two Donuts

(told Rock Star I needed a cool title for my post today and he recommended the above...?)

Since Itty Bitty has finally figured out how to say "mama" the verbal flood gates have opened. She is now saying hi, baby, more and play. So exciting. She has also started putting words together, like "Hi Dada" and "baby more" (when she wants more food). YEAH. Won’t be long now until she is asking for that belly piercing.

On a much more sever and negative note; I have dropped about 1/2 a pant size putting me too small for the current size and therefore giving me baggy crotch area but still too fat for the next size down which gives me muffin top and flat butt. Who am I kidding it is more like dueling bunt cakes than a muffin. Sigh.

I have seen some other blogger moms who have chronicled their weight loss efforts for the entire world to see. I am thinking of doing this. I would do it in a separate blog but it seems like the accountability factor would be pretty motivating. Even if no one reads it, the worry that some little size -0 would be reading would keep me from wanting to write that I sat on my butt watching Lifetime For Women TV scarffing down all the Halloween candy I bought, leaving nothing for the neighborhood kids. (note: I have NOT done this…yet…just offering an example)

I guess I could just order pizza for dinner and gain weight back to again fill out those baggy crotched jeans; it would after all be far easier. And seriously, how do jeans get baggy there? I mean it is not like I carry around an extra five pounds of fat... well in that spot. Ok, even I am grossing myself out with this….moving on…

Just a few final words on things I am thankful for this past week:
-Fabreeze candles
-My new laptop – enabling me to do some kickass work
-The extra sleep the hubs made sure I got and his all around awesome Daddyness
-The new Target built 5 minutes from my house
-The grand efforts made by the Rock Star to learn to wipe his own butt

All in all, a good week. Enjoy your weekend.

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

mamamamamama!!!!!!!!! YIPPIE!

11 months, 6 days and I FINALLY got a "mama" out of Itty Bitty!

As happy as I am I will always begrudge the fact I am fifth in line after:

Rock Star
Donny Deutsch (I know, can you believe it!?)
Baba (yes...baba after getting MY boob for 9 1/2mo. 3 days of bottle and she is saying "baba")
And then there is me...Mama.


Monday, October 19, 2009

If you poop on it do you have to buy it?

You all have come to expect at least every three post will be about poop, right? Just want to make sure your expectations are properly aligned.

Sooo….Rock Star has decided he has an aversion to pooping on a toilet these days. He has been potty trained for about a year and has NEVER been accident prone. I prided myself on the fact that I waited to potty train him until I knew he was ready. We literally went into big boy pants one morning had ONE accident (little bit of pee while playing outside) and that was it. No accidents. Ever.

Well, until one year later that is. It seems the thought of pooping on the toilet is just too daunting and the fear of missing out on some awesome playtime thing is too great to pause and poop. In addition to this little issue he has also decided public toilets flush too loud and therefore are not for him. Geez.

Given these two things we set up ourselves for the perfect storm this weekend. Late in the day on Saturday we decided to look at another house (on a whim). Called the agent, dragged him to the country burbs from midtown, which is just what he wanted to do Saturday at 6pm I am sure. Given the fact we had played for hours at a pumpkin patch and corn maze that day and the kids were exhausted, Rock Star was being exceptionally well behaved. At one point we were on the deck admiring the view and Rock Star ask to go wave at us from inside the sun porch. Sure, no problem. Then we went back in the house. Right there in the middle of the living room, on BRAND NEW carpet laid a turd. Yep. A Turd. I of course look at the hubs holding Itty Bitty trying to figure out how something just fell out of her fleece bodysuit and boots. Hmm? No way it can be her. Metro sexual Realtor guy is now hunch over the turd examining it with his Dolce and Gabbana eye glasses. Uh-huh. At which point he picks sit up with a tissue, sniffs and says, “oh my, it’s fresh.” Oh F***! The hubs starts saying, "we must have left a door open and let an animal in." “Oh No!” we all agree…quick start looking for a cat! Whew! Narrow escape. Then I see it. Out of the corner of my eye I see my sweet little Rock Star standing against the wall looking completely guilty. Crap. After a quick and quiet talk I am told a little poop fell out of his butt, then out of his boxers and ultimately out of his pant leg. Yep.

So, my question is. If you poop on it do you have to buy it?

Oh yeah, one other question; Why is the word “Turd” not in my Microsoft Word Dictionary? Come on people.

Friday, October 16, 2009


Love having the hubs home in the morning. Besides NOT having to jump at the first stirring of kids, I get to shower as soon as I wake up because he is always up and showered at the crack of dawn (I know, wierd right?) This was a good thing given I hadn't showered in two day and was looking a little funky this morning...

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Too Busy to Talk

Hubs is taking a vacation day tomorrow as we will be looking at properties for sale. House looks like a bomb went off and the laundry is so deep I am not sure I can actually reach the laundry room door. Have been working balls to the walls all morning on my NPO so I have a HUGE afternoon of housework ahead of me to have us in good shape for the weekend. So, no time to think or write. If you are looking for a laugh be sure to check Nikki's blog out. She is always good for a laugh.

BTW Nikki- I hope you are pimping me as much as I am you. Especially since, unlike me, you have more than 12 readers.

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Cold Weather = DIAMONDS!

So with the return of the cold weather my pudgy little hands have finally shrunk and once again I can wear my diamond wedding ring. For the first eight years of our marriage I never took it off. Then when Rock Star was born it seemed I was constantly scratching him so the hubs (for my first mother’s day) got me a plain gold band and the diamond became my “going out” ring. Then I got perggers with Itty Bitty, got fat and the diamond no longer fit. Yet somehow today, with the return of cold weather the diamond slid on like butta. I am a happy girl. Not so much because I am materialistic and want diamonds dripping from me but it is a nice little reminder of the hubs and our early years. Now don’t get all judgmental, I love my kids and being their mom, and I even relish in my PB&J and sweatpants life but there are a few things that I really miss from those newlywed years, like:

1. Staying in bed until 10am on Saturday, getting up, going out for breakfast , going back to bed for a nap followed by an afternoon of TV and sex.
2. Sleep. Real Sleep. The kind where you KNOW you will fall asleep and not wake up for 8 hours.
3. Having my bathroom visits private. The hubs has had to retrieve a kids from the bathroom one too many times while I am doing my business. Yeah, like that screams “lets do it tonight”…
4. Jacuzzi baths with grown up drinks versus a shower that lasts less than 3.2 minutes.
5. Going days without cooking or cleaning the kitchen.
6. Dry Cleaning, and only doing 1-2 loads of laundry a week (hard to even imagine now!)
7. Getting a pap smear without handing a child a snack, binky, sippie cup or my cell phone to keep them busy. (okay, this doesn’t have anything to do with newlywededness, I just miss it.)
8. Having a full conversation that does not involve the words: poop, pee, penis, constipated, puke, snot or tantrum with the hubs.
9. Enjoying a good body grope from the hubs without a) worrying one of the neighbor kids is over and watching or b) feeling like, “are you kidding me? I have been grabbed at ALL DAY! Get your mitts off!”

Okay, on another topic…I am watching Dr. Phil as I am writing this and they are discussing the big working mom vs stay at home mom thing. Here is what I find interesting. Having been a mom who has done both (I went back to my job as a project manager when my son was 3 months old and worked for 6 months with the help of a nanny) and I now realize how much I hate the phrase “working mom.’

I can tell you I work harder and longer now than I ever did in the corporate world. Even in the times of working 20 hour days at the office THIS IS MORE WORK. So, that being said I prefer to say working at home versus out of the home. But now even that has gotten muddy. I am working another job in addition to the SAHM gig (I run an nonprofit organization) and office out of my home. I also write this blog and for a local newspaper. So am I a “working mom.” Well obviously. But I am not technically working outside the home either (or making any money! Err…). Hmmm…. So what am I? Do the SAHM “zealots” think I should quit my job to only be dedicated to my kids? I think many SAHM like to believe because we are home with our kids we are giving them that extra emotional security, time, confidence and love. Yet, I know plenty of SAHMs who put their kids in daycare (or moms day out or preschool at 2 ½ - right) so they can have their own time away from the kids. What if these same moms took that “me time” and earned money with it? Does it suddenly change how much they love or value their kids? What we need to be looking at is the time and love a child is receiving not whether mom is earning a paycheck. I love being home with my kids. I also love working (which is me talking to clients and writing with kids yelling at me and hanging from the pockets of my jeans) on something that has nothing to do with my family. It is mine. It is good for my brain and my attitude. Some moms may not need or want it. I do; a little anyway.

Live and let live mama’s.

Monday, October 12, 2009

Mental Diarrhea

My 4th grade teacher, Mr. Johnson, used to tell me (ALL THE TIME) that I suffered from verbal diarrhea. I always laughed. Well, I had to laugh because all the other 4th graders were laughing; really I was pissed and thought he was an idiot. But now I look back and realize although I have matured- somewhat-I really did have it and now I suffer from mental diarrhea.

So here are my random thoughts on this dreary Monday morning.

1. If you are not reading my cousins blog: http://nikkigsblog.wordpress.com/ get on it now. Well…finish reading mine first then go. She is freaking hilarious and no matter the day you are having she WILL make you smile. I have relied on her humor big time the last several days. I wish she would quit her day job and just blog all day, every day.

2. Again, I have had several shitty days and am feeling compelled to give a shout-out to a few of my loves who keep me going:

MamaDort – My Aunt who has always been my mama in the absence of my own. I wish she was wasn’t 12 hours away. I wish she would knock on my door every morning and make me go running with her. Eh..actually I wish she would come knock on my door and watch my kids while I shower and then have coffee with me while I sort coupons and she does my laundry.

Kate- My cousin and best friend, my life’s confidant and advisor. I trust her with the lives of my kids. It doesn’t get any bigger than that.

Nikki – My cousin mentioned above; she lights up a room, she is kind and loving and FUNNY AS HELL. She also wears ugly skirts. Also, I am not a fan of people telling me they will pray for me (another post for another day), except Nikki. I have this vision of God pouring a martini when he hears Nikki shouting at him.

My friends (JJ, Kellie, Amy, Jen, Stacey, Joey). You are all women I think of (even if we go days or weeks without having time to talk) and remind me of how lucky I am. I am inspired by each of you for different reasons and love you all dearly.

3. I will make chocolate chip cookies today. Best thing to do with a 4 year old on a cold, rainy day.

4. I am overwhelmed with Halloween costumes for the family this year. Rock Star thinks we should be the Incredibles. The day I walk through my neighborhood in head-to-toe spandex …yeah, lets just say NEVER gonna happen folks.

5. I had a hilarious dream last night about a wacky family member that is going to keep me laughing for days. I liked it because I used the *F* word in my dream with this person which really is a lifelong fantasy of mine.

6. Realizing number 5 on this list will not make my Grandmother happy. Well, at least it won’t be the first time my mouth has gotten me in trouble.

7. The Rock Star has started telling people he is a Democrat. I love it. Hubs…not so much. I overheard the hubs telling Itty Bitty some crazy right-wing bullshit while rocking her to sleep a few days ago. When I questioned him he told me I “wasn’t getting both of them.” We’ll see about that. Poor kid number 3.

8. I love my family doctor and his staff. So as I mentioned, several shitty days. Weeks actually. Super tired, not sleeping, weight gain…yada, yada, yada… Doc took me seriously even though chances are I am going coo-coo. Doing some blood work, made me feel like I would get better. Also in the heat of all this immunization overload, he supports my decisions were this is concerned. HUGE! I have been in love with my OBGYN for years. She got me through several terrible years of miscarriage and other female curses. What are the chances I would find a family doctor I like as much as her? I trust my kids with like 3 ½ people. I trust this doctor. Also, I am one of those nuts that have about 87 medical questions a week that his generous staff puts up with and never treats me like the loon I am.

9. If you have not watched Underdog with your kids. Do it. HILARIOUS. Okay, I actually slept through over half of it which may be why I feel so good about it. But the parts I did watch made me laugh out loud. Plus anything that gives Rock Star that deep belly laugh has my immediate vote. Even if it is butt humor.

10. Getting my first Tattoo this month. WOO-HOO. Very excited. Not telling the hubs. Now we will see if he really reads my blog.

11. The Rock Star told me yesterday (in a very loving and concerned tone) that something on me smelled like butt. No shit Sherlock. But here is what I want to know. How does HE know what “butt” smells like when I am the one in this house who does all of the butt cleaning? If you never have to deal with your own butt, or anyone else’s, how do you know what it smells like? Please.

12. Speaking of smells, I need to go take the trash out.

13. Just found the Rock Star in a sleeping bag without pants or underwear (apparently they were too hard to put back on after going pee...I swear, THIS I will never understand!) eating Hershey Kisses. Whatever, just give me a couple.

I really need to be putting this writing effort into the things that pay. ..

Saturday, October 10, 2009

Not my favorite day, but at least my kids aren’t schizophrenic

So it’s Saturday and the hubs is gone for the day doing some community goodness with a group of co-workers volunteering their day to fix up a poor old lady’s home. Good for them.

However this good deed leaves me home with the kids on a Saturday, stuck. He had to take my Suburban to haul supplies leaving only the convertible for me, which I cannot fit the kids in. Oh life is rough. So in the midst of feeling sorry for myself like a big dope I am reminded of:

1. I am lucky to be married to a guy that cares about his world enough to go and fix a caving in roof for a little old lady he doesn’t even know.
2. I am pretty lucky to be complaining about having to sit in my nice home, goofing off with my kids for a day with a second vehicle in the driveway when many families are struggling to keep a roof over their head and walking because the car has been repo’d.
3. My kids are not schizophrenic. http://www.januaryfirst.org/www.januaryfirst.org/Blog/Blog.html
4. And my cool cuz Nikki turned me on to this website which will keep me laughing all day. http://textsfromlastnight.com/
5. It is after 10am and I am still drinking coffee and in my pj’s which is never a bad thing.
6. I have an Aunt I can call and cry to about my spilled coupons (yes I am serious) and she just listened, then laughed at me. Which reminded me I am completely nuts and to laugh at myself.

Enjoy your weekend, I will.

Friday, October 9, 2009

Butter and Mr. Rooter

What is the appeal? I just found the Rock Star in the kitchen (sitting on the potty-training toilet) with a spoon and the tub of butter spread. I almost threw up just looking at him. What the Hell!? How can that possibly taste good? At least it was the heart-healthy stuff so he won’t go directly into cardiac arrest. Can you imagine what the inside of his mouth feels like right now? HOOOLAAA….HOOOLAAA….(that is the sound of me dry-heaving).

So I called Mr. Rooter yesterday (LOVE THESE GUYS!) to fix two leaky toilets, one with a broken thing-a-ma-gigie. One was legitimate, the other turns out wasn’t leaking but rather the recipient of constant four-year old boy bad aim.

Open: Mr. Rooter (his real name was Pat, but Mr. Rooter is much more fun) on the floor in the bathroom, 2 four year olds running like crazy playing hide-and-seek, Itty Bitty screaming crazy tired and my house looking like the site of nuclear war testing.

Mr. Rooter: Well, it looks like the toilet is fine. No leaks.
Me: But there is constant stinky water puddle between the stool and the bath.
Mr. Rooter: (L-O-N-G technical explanation as to why there is no chance of a leak), so my guess is you have someone with bad aim. *GRIN*
Me: No. That is disgusting. There has to be a leak.
Mr. Rooter: Nope.
Me: Yes.
Mr. Rooter: I can charge you for one if it will make you feel better.
Me: F#*%!
Me: Are you peeing on the floor?
Rock Star: Um, well..you know that potty is broken because the toilet paper roll holder is loose. Fixer Guy, will you fix that please?
Me: Ugh.

Now I am just too damn tired to finish this conversation.

It’s Friday, the house is still a mess and I now have an extra floor to scrub and sanitize. For those of you who have that mother/MIL that you complain about coming into your house and taking over the cleaning, laundry and childcare…would you please send her my way? I give up today. I need help.

Thursday, October 8, 2009

My Time?

10 Things I spend Too Much Time On:

1. Trying to catch flies with the vacuum hose.
2. Looking for dead flies after I smack them with the swatter. Where do the little suckers go?
3. Being angry that there is another fly in the house.
4. Flies in general.
5. Wiping things: counters, floors, butts, noses, carseats…I could go on forever here.
6. Wondering who is the bigger dumbass, Jon or Kate Gosslin.
7. Thinking about hairstyles that would better suit Hoda Kotb
8. Looking for my car keys
9. Explaining my sarcastic comments to my four year old.
10. Writing mindless junk for this blog.

Today is one of those time assessment days. Rock Star has started a new school and has new hours (fewer days, more hours on those days) allowing me to maximize my productivity. Or one would think…

Itty Bitty is sleeping. The house is quiet. Would it be wrong to just crash on the couch with a book for an hour? Hmmm….

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

This Little Light of Mine, I’m Gonna Let it Shine

A couple of weeks ago the friend of a young family member was killed in a tragic car crash. This young man had not yet graduated high school. He leaves behind a family, friends even strangers who are devastated and crushed by the magnitude of facing life without him. I did not ever have the pleasure of meeting Tyler but last night I spent some time with the mother of our young cousin hearing stories and looking at pictures of him. I shed tears over his death even though I never knew him. I could not sleep last night thinking about how wrong it was that he was taken from so many people who loved and needed him. I couldn’t help but think about my own kids and how off centered the world would become if they were taken from me.

I was reminded in the wee hours of the morning after my friend Wendy died being told, “The Greater the Love, the Greater the Pain.” How true.

Tyler clearly had a light that shined brighter than perhaps what anyone really knew. I know Wendy did. When people we love are taken from our physical lives we suddenly notice this gaping hole that we took for granted was always filled. Enter guilt. But I am suddenly thinking, maybe that is the way God intends for it to be. We live our lives loving, laughing, enjoying time with our friends and family, not living every moment worrying this may be the last time we see them, hug them or hear the words “I love you.” It is a place of trust and innocence that I think God wants us to relish in.

Yet, when we lose someone we love we are more aware of their light and their impact on the world around them. I am proud to have Wendy as my friend. I am proud of the way she is remembered and the way I KNOW FOR SURE lives have been changed in looking back over hers. I hope that even through their tears and grief Tyler’s parents are able to take pride in their sons light. It is still shining. The lives of the young kids who loved him will be altered. They will ultimately be inspired to live a life wanting to have a light just like their friend. And maybe it will make parents, family and friends more aware of the lights already around them and check the dimmer switch on their own.

The life we are living now is a light deposit. The more you give, love, laugh, inspire, the brighter your light and the longer it will shine after you are gone. I am inspired to life hard, give and love the world around me every day. I cannot control when my time on this earth will end. But I can control the memories and love I will leave behind and I plan to leave a bright, bright light.

Check your switch today. Make sure your little light is shining.

Monday, October 5, 2009

Diego, Red Sauce and Stinky Feet

So Rock Star has spent the entire day being Diego. He will only answer me if I call him by this name and has turned our home into a Rainforest. This is freaking exhausting. In addition to being Diego the Animal Rescuer, he has also decided that Itty Bitty shall be called Red Sauce. Don’t ask, I have no clue. All I know is he has called her “Red Sauce” ALL DAY and she finds it as hilarious as he does.

I however have spent my day trying to figure out how “Red Sauce” has such stinky feet! The child is 10 months old never wears shoes and rarely wears socks. So how is it possible that her feet smell like…well, like the hubs? My poor, poor baby girl. Now for all the typical things I begrudge about my body I have always taken comfort in my nice feet. They are a perfect size (7 to 7 ½) with great toenails and all my toes are just the right length (you know the second one is not longer than the big toe) So you can imagine my disappointment when Itty Bitty was pulled from my body and despite the drugs (intense c-section drugs!), the mucus and all the chatter about her hair, I notice she had the hubs feet. My sweet little…little, baby girl had these feet with an extra knuckle in each toe and a second toe almost double the size of the big toe. Ugh.

Okay, now before you chalk me up as the worst mother ever, I still love and kiss her little toes. Even though they are truly feet only a mother, (well and a father in our case) could love. BUT, the suckers stink! I just don’t get it. From head to ankle she has that sweet, perfect baby smell. Then, POW! Feet.

Maybe there is something to this Red Sauce thing. Don’t tomatoes get rid of skunk smell? Maybe we will have our first mother/daughter at-home pedi tonight, sponsored by Ragu’.

Saturday, October 3, 2009

To The Overly Opinionated:

I have a few bones to pick with you. I will spread them out over time to avoid sounding like a crazy angry woman, which I am not. Here we go…

Average Idiot: “Would she like a sticker?”
Me: “She is a four year old boy who can speak. Ask HIM yourself dumbass.” (okay I really don’t use the word dumbass in public and never swear at stranger, I save the lashing out for the protective covering of the blog world)

So the Rock Star has long hair. He is very attached to his hair, and even though it is often well below his shoulders and ears, he still looks like a boy.

Now we are not talking Celine Dion’s sons longs hair

More Like Gwyneth Paltrow’s son

Very cool if you ask me. Now in addition to this cool hair the Rock Star also has his “uniform” of cargo jeans or shorts, and one of two types of shirts. Graphic rock tees (currently the fav’s are Rolling Stones, AC/DC and a custom made Rock Star tee) or a Kansas Jayhawk tee or jersey. That plus the fact he is always toting at least one hotwheel in his hand, I have to question exactly how stupid you have to be to think he is a girl. Pretty stupid if you ask me. Therefore I have come to the conclusion that if you make an obvious “girl” statement about my son you are not confused but trying to make a point that you think his hair is too long.

Let me be clear. I DO NOT CARE WHAT YOUR OPINION IS ON MY CHILDS HAIR STYLE. He likes it, he loves it actually, when ask if he wants to cut it he tells us, “No, it is my hair and I want to keep it.’ Well, there you have it. So please, shut-up. Zip it. Move on. We are happy living in the land of tangle free shampoo and long, thick curls.

Friday, October 2, 2009

"On a Much Ligher Note" as Matt Lauer Would Say...

My Super Deal: dollar off manufacture coupon plus a fifty cent off store coupon one bottle of Fabreeze. Whoo-Hoo! Super fabulous because, I had four of each. Yes, that is right, $1.39 each. So I have one in the lower bath, the kitchen, the basement and the spare in the storage linen closet.

My mistake was putting the basement bottle within the Rock Stars reach. I just found an empty…EMPTY! 24oz bottle of Fabreeze.

That would make for one super-duper (good?) smelly, and rather wet basement.

A Year is Forever and Nothing

One year ago today I lost my dearest friend, Wendy. She died at the young age of 37, just four months after her youngest child was born. I was pregnant at the time with Itty Bitty and had just lost my mother 5 weeks earlier to breast cancer. The last year seems like the blink of an eye. It also feel s like the longest time of my life. I still feel my spirit reeling most days. I have to emotionally slap myself in the face to remind me this is real. Wendy is really gone. My mother had battled cancer for 17 years, her death was not a surprise; but Wendy was young, she was healthy and she was the mother of children who still need her.

Sometimes I look at the world around me and find myself angry and how easily everyone seems to be going about their lives. I remember feeling similar after losing my first two babies prior to their birth. I just can’t see how you feel bad one day or week and “move on” in the next. I know Wendy, as I too would feel, wants the people who love her to continue living happy, healthly lives. Especially for the sake of her kids. My brain gets that; but my heart wants the world to continue to cry out for her daily. It feels too much like of a betrayal of our love for her to live life and be happy without her. Maybe these thoughts and feelings are ego-centric in nature. If the world, her husband, children, family and friends can move on without her, so could mine. Therefore my presence in this world seems less vital. My therapist (yes.) says it is normal to deal with ones own mortality in a situation like this. Blah, Blah, Blah…I just want Wendy back.

I am clearly stuck in emotional mud here. The steps of grieving which should be my way out… have gotten me as far as angry and I seem to have set up camp. Well, I am also scared shitless. Scared the world will forget what it has lost, that her daughter will never really know the spirit of her mother no matter how hard we all try and fearful that someday I will no longer be able to hear the sound of her laugh, remember what she smelled like or see the image of her face in my minds eye.

Ugh. Maybe a year from now…

Thursday, October 1, 2009

Mutated Free Tata’s!

I have anxiously been awaiting test results for BRAC testing. For those who are not familiar, this is the genetic test for Breast Cancer. My mother died last year from the disease and my grandmother is an eight-year survivor, although last year she was diagnosed with multiple myeloma. When I was 21 I had a benign lump removed and did not give birth until “late” in life all things that have my current risk of near 50% (an average woman is around 9%). If I tested positive for the BRAC test I would be at a 90% risk. UGH. Overwhelming.
So I just got the call and the results state…NO MUTATION FOUND. Whoo-Freakin’-Hoo!!!

Now I still have a risk that still puts me 3-5 times more likely than the average woman for getting this disease but it feels far more manageable than 90%. So now I will begin the process of working with a genetic counselor to determine what my “precautionary” steps will be.

I have been waiting days for these results and find it more than coincidental that I got them on October 1, the beginning of Breast Cancer Awareness Month. Knowing the 9 people who read this blog are either related to me or a friend, so I beg you to go and get the mammogram this month if you are not already doing so.

Also, there is a great tool called the Gail Model Risk Assessment Calculator. Answer just a few questions and calculate your risk. Take the 5 minutes and do it now: http://www.cancer.gov/bcrisktool/

Go Pink and Save the Tata’s!
hit counter
Get a hit counter here.