What is the appeal? I just found the Rock Star in the kitchen (sitting on the potty-training toilet) with a spoon and the tub of butter spread. I almost threw up just looking at him. What the Hell!? How can that possibly taste good? At least it was the heart-healthy stuff so he won’t go directly into cardiac arrest. Can you imagine what the inside of his mouth feels like right now? HOOOLAAA….HOOOLAAA….(that is the sound of me dry-heaving).
So I called Mr. Rooter yesterday (LOVE THESE GUYS!) to fix two leaky toilets, one with a broken thing-a-ma-gigie. One was legitimate, the other turns out wasn’t leaking but rather the recipient of constant four-year old boy bad aim.
Open: Mr. Rooter (his real name was Pat, but Mr. Rooter is much more fun) on the floor in the bathroom, 2 four year olds running like crazy playing hide-and-seek, Itty Bitty screaming crazy tired and my house looking like the site of nuclear war testing.
Mr. Rooter: Well, it looks like the toilet is fine. No leaks.
Me: But there is constant stinky water puddle between the stool and the bath.
Mr. Rooter: (L-O-N-G technical explanation as to why there is no chance of a leak), so my guess is you have someone with bad aim. *GRIN*
Me: No. That is disgusting. There has to be a leak.
Mr. Rooter: Nope.
Mr. Rooter: I can charge you for one if it will make you feel better.
Me: ROCK STAR!!! COME HERE NOW!
Me: Are you peeing on the floor?
Rock Star: Um, well..you know that potty is broken because the toilet paper roll holder is loose. Fixer Guy, will you fix that please?
Now I am just too damn tired to finish this conversation.
It’s Friday, the house is still a mess and I now have an extra floor to scrub and sanitize. For those of you who have that mother/MIL that you complain about coming into your house and taking over the cleaning, laundry and childcare…would you please send her my way? I give up today. I need help.
Friday, October 9, 2009
Butter and Mr. Rooter
I am a free spirit, growing in my creative desires. I write, read, sew, knit, craft and garden. I am striving to live a more natural life everyday for Mother Earth but mostly for the health and well being of my children. I am above all committed to my family, my hilarious husband and life partner of 15 years makes sure I laugh every day. We cloth diaper, babywear, share sleep, and generally live a child led existence. I am strongly against the idea that children must be socialized but believe vehemently in the idea that children need their parents close and always - until. Until they are ready to leave and explore. Lest you think my life is too tranquil and nothing but sitting and reading books while children play with handmade toys; I spend the better part of my days wiping noses and butts, cooking, cleaning, cooking and cleaning some more, figuring out where that (insert any bizarre item you can think of here) came from, and explaining why Mama needs a TO and nap. Above all, I am human. I fail myself and family everyday and every day I am committed to give tomorrow another shot. Because after all, tomorrow will provide another opportunity to smile and laugh!
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