So with the return of the cold weather my pudgy little hands have finally shrunk and once again I can wear my diamond wedding ring. For the first eight years of our marriage I never took it off. Then when Rock Star was born it seemed I was constantly scratching him so the hubs (for my first mother’s day) got me a plain gold band and the diamond became my “going out” ring. Then I got perggers with Itty Bitty, got fat and the diamond no longer fit. Yet somehow today, with the return of cold weather the diamond slid on like butta. I am a happy girl. Not so much because I am materialistic and want diamonds dripping from me but it is a nice little reminder of the hubs and our early years. Now don’t get all judgmental, I love my kids and being their mom, and I even relish in my PB&J and sweatpants life but there are a few things that I really miss from those newlywed years, like:
1. Staying in bed until 10am on Saturday, getting up, going out for breakfast , going back to bed for a nap followed by an afternoon of TV and sex.
2. Sleep. Real Sleep. The kind where you KNOW you will fall asleep and not wake up for 8 hours.
3. Having my bathroom visits private. The hubs has had to retrieve a kids from the bathroom one too many times while I am doing my business. Yeah, like that screams “lets do it tonight”…
4. Jacuzzi baths with grown up drinks versus a shower that lasts less than 3.2 minutes.
5. Going days without cooking or cleaning the kitchen.
6. Dry Cleaning, and only doing 1-2 loads of laundry a week (hard to even imagine now!)
7. Getting a pap smear without handing a child a snack, binky, sippie cup or my cell phone to keep them busy. (okay, this doesn’t have anything to do with newlywededness, I just miss it.)
8. Having a full conversation that does not involve the words: poop, pee, penis, constipated, puke, snot or tantrum with the hubs.
9. Enjoying a good body grope from the hubs without a) worrying one of the neighbor kids is over and watching or b) feeling like, “are you kidding me? I have been grabbed at ALL DAY! Get your mitts off!”
Okay, on another topic…I am watching Dr. Phil as I am writing this and they are discussing the big working mom vs stay at home mom thing. Here is what I find interesting. Having been a mom who has done both (I went back to my job as a project manager when my son was 3 months old and worked for 6 months with the help of a nanny) and I now realize how much I hate the phrase “working mom.’
I can tell you I work harder and longer now than I ever did in the corporate world. Even in the times of working 20 hour days at the office THIS IS MORE WORK. So, that being said I prefer to say working at home versus out of the home. But now even that has gotten muddy. I am working another job in addition to the SAHM gig (I run an nonprofit organization) and office out of my home. I also write this blog and for a local newspaper. So am I a “working mom.” Well obviously. But I am not technically working outside the home either (or making any money! Err…). Hmmm…. So what am I? Do the SAHM “zealots” think I should quit my job to only be dedicated to my kids? I think many SAHM like to believe because we are home with our kids we are giving them that extra emotional security, time, confidence and love. Yet, I know plenty of SAHMs who put their kids in daycare (or moms day out or preschool at 2 ½ - right) so they can have their own time away from the kids. What if these same moms took that “me time” and earned money with it? Does it suddenly change how much they love or value their kids? What we need to be looking at is the time and love a child is receiving not whether mom is earning a paycheck. I love being home with my kids. I also love working (which is me talking to clients and writing with kids yelling at me and hanging from the pockets of my jeans) on something that has nothing to do with my family. It is mine. It is good for my brain and my attitude. Some moms may not need or want it. I do; a little anyway.
Live and let live mama’s.
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Cold Weather = DIAMONDS!
I am a free spirit, growing in my creative desires. I write, read, sew, knit, craft and garden. I am striving to live a more natural life everyday for Mother Earth but mostly for the health and well being of my children. I am above all committed to my family, my hilarious husband and life partner of 15 years makes sure I laugh every day. We cloth diaper, babywear, share sleep, and generally live a child led existence. I am strongly against the idea that children must be socialized but believe vehemently in the idea that children need their parents close and always - until. Until they are ready to leave and explore. Lest you think my life is too tranquil and nothing but sitting and reading books while children play with handmade toys; I spend the better part of my days wiping noses and butts, cooking, cleaning, cooking and cleaning some more, figuring out where that (insert any bizarre item you can think of here) came from, and explaining why Mama needs a TO and nap. Above all, I am human. I fail myself and family everyday and every day I am committed to give tomorrow another shot. Because after all, tomorrow will provide another opportunity to smile and laugh!
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