Monday, October 19, 2009

If you poop on it do you have to buy it?

You all have come to expect at least every three post will be about poop, right? Just want to make sure your expectations are properly aligned.

Sooo….Rock Star has decided he has an aversion to pooping on a toilet these days. He has been potty trained for about a year and has NEVER been accident prone. I prided myself on the fact that I waited to potty train him until I knew he was ready. We literally went into big boy pants one morning had ONE accident (little bit of pee while playing outside) and that was it. No accidents. Ever.

Well, until one year later that is. It seems the thought of pooping on the toilet is just too daunting and the fear of missing out on some awesome playtime thing is too great to pause and poop. In addition to this little issue he has also decided public toilets flush too loud and therefore are not for him. Geez.

Given these two things we set up ourselves for the perfect storm this weekend. Late in the day on Saturday we decided to look at another house (on a whim). Called the agent, dragged him to the country burbs from midtown, which is just what he wanted to do Saturday at 6pm I am sure. Given the fact we had played for hours at a pumpkin patch and corn maze that day and the kids were exhausted, Rock Star was being exceptionally well behaved. At one point we were on the deck admiring the view and Rock Star ask to go wave at us from inside the sun porch. Sure, no problem. Then we went back in the house. Right there in the middle of the living room, on BRAND NEW carpet laid a turd. Yep. A Turd. I of course look at the hubs holding Itty Bitty trying to figure out how something just fell out of her fleece bodysuit and boots. Hmm? No way it can be her. Metro sexual Realtor guy is now hunch over the turd examining it with his Dolce and Gabbana eye glasses. Uh-huh. At which point he picks sit up with a tissue, sniffs and says, “oh my, it’s fresh.” Oh F***! The hubs starts saying, "we must have left a door open and let an animal in." “Oh No!” we all agree…quick start looking for a cat! Whew! Narrow escape. Then I see it. Out of the corner of my eye I see my sweet little Rock Star standing against the wall looking completely guilty. Crap. After a quick and quiet talk I am told a little poop fell out of his butt, then out of his boxers and ultimately out of his pant leg. Yep.

So, my question is. If you poop on it do you have to buy it?

Oh yeah, one other question; Why is the word “Turd” not in my Microsoft Word Dictionary? Come on people.

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