How well are you at being alone? Sitting in a room with no TV, books, cell phone, magazine or other people; just being? Not many years ago this was close impossible for me. Not so much because I couldn’t, as much as I simply never tried. I now love being with the inner me. I can spend hours contemplating my own thoughts and feelings, daydreaming about the future of my family, thinking about ways to reap greater joy and connectedness out of the world around me. However, one of the many things I have learned while taking myself through this process, is how critical it is to be honest with myself. Honest with how I feel about events in my life, people I am connected to, how aligned my practices are with my ideals. When you keep yourself perpetually moving and busy it is easy to lie to yourself. It is easy to ignore not caring for your mind and spirit. When I am still, I have to fully acknowledge my thoughts and behaviors and how they are impacting me, and others. I think this is where most people get hung up with being alone. I know people who are constantly going, doing, moving and/or are always with other people. Personally I find this type of behavior exhausting and I quickly begin to feel like I am drowning. What I find so interesting is these are also people who are hiding from themselves; ignoring and trying to pretend they are not struggling and hurting. When I stop and just sit with myself it forces me to evaluate what is going on inside. It forces me to look at things that are hurting, worrying or intimidating me; I like doing this because I cannot overcome what I do not acknowledge. This statement is of course psychology 101 which makes it all the more fascinating more people don’t acknowledge it themselves.
Give it a shot. Just commit to 30min today to sit in the still and quiet. Think about your day. What you did, what you put in your body, the tone and words you used with others. What made you happy, overwhelmed and what will you repeat tomorrow? Just take the time to really think about what you did and how you lived one day.
Reflect. Breath. Contemplate. Breath.
Friday, January 29, 2010
I am a free spirit, growing in my creative desires. I write, read, sew, knit, craft and garden. I am striving to live a more natural life everyday for Mother Earth but mostly for the health and well being of my children. I am above all committed to my family, my hilarious husband and life partner of 15 years makes sure I laugh every day. We cloth diaper, babywear, share sleep, and generally live a child led existence. I am strongly against the idea that children must be socialized but believe vehemently in the idea that children need their parents close and always - until. Until they are ready to leave and explore. Lest you think my life is too tranquil and nothing but sitting and reading books while children play with handmade toys; I spend the better part of my days wiping noses and butts, cooking, cleaning, cooking and cleaning some more, figuring out where that (insert any bizarre item you can think of here) came from, and explaining why Mama needs a TO and nap. Above all, I am human. I fail myself and family everyday and every day I am committed to give tomorrow another shot. Because after all, tomorrow will provide another opportunity to smile and laugh!
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