Friday, September 25, 2009

Happily headed for Target this morning…

 And then I got there:
  •  Returned a skirt bought at the beginning of summer without a receipt and got $4.62 for it. Of course I paid $19.99 for it.
  • Headed to the baby department to look for a baby gate. Of course they do not have the one I want.
  • Rock Star begins pee-pee dance and starts looking for a place to wing it out. I scream, “Do not pull your penis out! Hurry Run!” and of to the bathroom we go.
  • Force the semi truck kid cart into the bathroom, even though it really does not fit.
  • Ask the Rock Star if he has to poop. THREE times. Answer is of course no, but I know there is a turd looming.
  • Attempt to back out of the bathroom with the kid cart gracefully. As if.
  • Realize I need more caffeine.
  • Take my lousy four bucks and go buy a big coffee at the in-store Starbucks.
  • Head to the Health and Beauty department to buy tampons for the period I feel about ready to take over.
  • Find a mismark on Enfamil Lipil formula (reg $24.99) for $11.59 each. SCORE. I bought every can they had.
  • Notice Rock Star doing poop dance. Have a polite conversation with the Rock Start about going poop when I ask him to as we are making another run for the front of the store. Of course he informs he couldn’t because the poop wasn’t at the hole when I ask him to go.
  • Hike to the very back of the store to look at toys, I am feeling happy about the formula steal and the coffee is kicking in.
  • Say “No” 167 times.
  • Itty Bitty wants to be held; now I get to the push the freaking semi truck cart with one arm and 4-year old speed. I think there may be a little old lady wearing a red shirt left as road kill in the Lego isle.
  • Bribe Rock Star out of the toy isle with a clearance “Speed Racer” hand-held game, which was clearly returned after being given as a gift because there were batteries scotch taped to the back. Another score.
  • Head to the check out, where we have a hoo-ha over the formula. I win.
  • Get home; change into sweats and wonder if because it is Friday if it is okay to start drinking at 1:30.

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