Thursday, December 17, 2009

Open Letter to Glitter

Dear Sparkly Crafty Glitter,

I give. I break. You win. You seem oh-so-innocent sitting there on the Hobby Lobby shelf. Looking beautiful and fun, begging to be bought and given to the smiling faces of my children. You seem so harmless and wonderful. Everyone loves you, right? You inspire me to create and to allow the creativity to flow out of my kids.

Then I took you out of the freaking package. What have you done to me? Why do you conspire with glue to do such damage to our lovely home? How did you get in my hair and between my boobs!? Your sparkly beauty is now a sheet of migraine inducing scum on my floor, kitchen table and my children.

I would also love to know exactly how you remain completely resistant to the broom, my vacuum and every Swiffer product created? Damn you to hell Glitter. You are killing me softly. I am becoming obsessed, I cannot forget about you hanging out in my kitchen and dining room. I thought about you while running errands today and thought I had a plan to delete you from my life once and for all (can you say lint roller? I know, genius huh?) and then…while cleaning the last remaining scrapes from this morning art event I saw it: The most wonderfully shiny, sparkly, beautifully happy glittered snowman ever created. He took my breath away.

Glitter Snowman will hang for the next several weeks and each day I will gladly attempt in vain to clean the fairy dust droppings you will leave. The hubs has been right all these years; want me to get over being pissed? Just dangle something shiny in my direction.

Thank you Glitter, for the smiles you have brought into our home. Thank you from the bottom of my glue and glitter incrusted socks.

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