Thursday, November 19, 2009

My Big 5

We all have them. Yes, I am talking about our greatest parenting fears. Okay, the obvious things about our children being stricken with illness or pained emotionally are given. I am talking about those things that we know will humiliate and bring us to our parenting knees. Those things that you have seen happen to other mothers and think, “Oh thank god that did not just happen to me!” Then we walk away tucking the memory of the observed humiliation in our mommy pocket leaving it there to fester and inevitably cause loss of sleep. Like with any psychological issue, getting it out in the open allows the healing to begin. So, in an effort to rid myself of the worry and pain I herby confess my big 5:
5. Taking one of my babies into the pediatrician for a check-up and realize (upon it being discovered by the ped) I missed a hunk of their lunch which is still wedged in a body part.
4. Being outed by kids as a Democrat to my extremely staunch Republican in-laws which I have successfully hid for going on 13 years. Save the judgment my fellow Dem’s, you have not met these people.
3. Being called out in public by your kid as the distributor of the fart smell every adult in the room is trying to pretend isn’t there.
2. Being reminded in the grocery store by your three year old that you are out of beer/wine. (This one perhaps I should take off the list as it actually has happened already. My son saw a wine display and started SHOUTING, “Mom! Look at all those mommy beers! You need to buy some of those because you need them.” Well, it was one of my favorite wines, and it was on sale so I stocked up…
1. “Mom! Look at that fat (or any other politically incorrect term) person! Why are they so fat?” Yep. This was lunch at Panera yesterday. Sigh.

Funny thing, although I have experienced, and survived a few of these they still remain on my list. I can only hope that if you suffer through it with one child the universe will not allow it to happen to me again. I am kidding myself aren’t I?

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