Thursday, February 10, 2011

My Heart Knew

Eleven months ago I went to my OBGYN for an appointment for some issues, but mostly to discuss the possibility of having another baby. Based on severe damage to my uterus and a previous high-risk pregnancy I was told I would likely never get pregnant again and we needed to schedule a follow-up appointment to discuss a hysterectomy. I came home that day and wrote this:

My Spirit Baby
Today my heart broke for you.
Today I was told I may never hold you.
How is it I miss you so greatly and you do not exist outside my soul?
I know you are there; I feel it my mission to bring you home.
Faith seems to be my only option.
Faith I will hold on to.
Faith will be your vehicle.
  
Three weeks later I was back at my OBGYN and found out I was pregnant, and had been at the time of my previous appointment but it was just too early to tell. Today, 11 months later, I type this holding little Baby Zen in my arms.

A mama's heart always knows.
Always.

2 comments:

Kathryn said...

This reminds me of a past coworker of mine. She was 43 with three kids one of which was a senior in high school. She told me they wanted another baby and were trying to get pregnant. At first I thought they were crazy, but she explained that they just felt their family was not yet complete. They moved shortly after their new baby was born and their oldest daughter went away to college. I talked to her about six months later and she said their family is complete. The missing piece was now with them.

Woman Laughing said...

Oh, my, how absolutely inspiring. The world is magical, isn't it, and so full of lovely surprises.

I am S O happy for you, for this magic in your life.

Blessings,

Juliana

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