Friday, August 13, 2010

My Children, My Teachers

Oh my beautiful Rock Star and Itty Bitty – you have filled me and challenged me so much this week!
I was greatly challenged to remember that your needs are ever evolving, you are growing and changing both physically and emotionally; you need room, permission, and love as you move through your new feelings and questions.

This week you have reminded me that you have the right to move and feel on your terms. I cannot and should not force you to think and feel anything. You reaffirmed the lesson that I must spend time being still and listening to you; to your cries, your laughter, your questions, your silence.

Rock Star, you ask something important of me this week. I have learned that when I make assumptions towards your actions, feelings and thoughts is hurtful to you. You want to be listened to, to be fully and deeply heard. I need to validate your words and ideas. When you are given the respect of a whole listener you are in turn able to be open in your mind and heart.

Itty Bitty, my ever-growing independent one. I have spent many hours lately trying to figure out where your feelings of (what appear to be) anger and frustration are coming from and I was pleased this week when your daddy and I became aware that you want your space. You want your hugs and kisses, to be picked up and held, to have your space shared by others to be on your terms. You are transitioning from a baby who is content to explore the world in the arms of another and now you want to be free, you want your space, room to watch, listen and feel.

I have had to look at some of my time this week and choose to realize they were not bad days but days in which there was much to learn; perhaps this alone was my greatest lesson. I must set anger and frustration aside and search for what is to be gained; to realize there is always someone, something that is trying to communicate with me. To accept this I must keep my spirit open and anger only closes me off.

Thank you my little teachers. Thank you for not only helping me be a better mother to you but a better human being. I love you without measure.


Mon said...

hi there, found you through shaktimama.

i totally agree about the just listening. i think it's one of the hardest things for parents, because we are taught to guide and push and correct them.
just listening to my girl, and allowing her space to express has, imo, enhanced our relationship.

btw, i noticed the cry/sleep comment you made at juliana's and thought that you might be interested my post on it.

mamacomedy said...

Thanks for stopping by Monica! I just read your post on the day you let your daughter cry - it was wonderful. Thank you for sharing with me. I look forward to reading more of your stuff.

I liked what you said in your comment about listening enhancing your relationship with your daughter. Really, really listening allows them to have a much deeper level of trust, don't you think? Knowing they will be heard and validated - we all need it!
Thanks again,

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