ONE

Ever have one of those parenting moments when you know you are making a huge mistake but you have that internal shrug and “eh” reaction? Me? Yeah, about three times a day.

I hear it first. Silence followed by “the” giggle-times two. The naughty laughter is then followed by the patter of fast sneaking little feet running from one spot to the last no doubt toting something that should not be touched. I know what is happening: messes are being made, things are being shoved into the toilet, lotion bottles are being emptied, diaper cream is being smeared head-to-toe, markers have been discovered, food is being taken on the carpet, clothes are being stripped off (yes, my kids LOVE to streak), I know there is all around no-good shenanigans happening and yet I choose to ignore. I know my work will be doubled (at least) when I finally am forced to deal with it, I know something will probably get wrecked, I know I will be questioned by the hubs as to how “this” happened and yet I still ignore.

Why? What is wrong with me?
Am I lazy or just desperate for 5 minutes without a little person up my ass?

Last night I was up battling nausea and went into the downstairs guest bath, well I tried. I couldn’t quite open the door. Not a good sign. When I finally wiggled my way in I was faced with the harsh reality of my choice to ignore the naughty; I suddenly remembered a phone call earlier that afternoon when I knew they were in the bathroom but I chose to score a few minutes of uninterrupted talk and clearly forgot to go survey the damage after my call. As I stood in a sea of clothes, hangers, shoes, toys, cookies, a half eaten apple, a few DVD’s, books, diapers (clean, thank God), and of course the signature full roll of toilet paper soaking in the toilet I wanted to cry. I felt so guilty for being a lazy mom.

Then I realized it was 3am and I was cleaning a bathroom. Lazy my ass.
There are two of them. They work at warp speed. They are super-human. There is only one of me.

ME ONE.
THEM MAAANY.

I am simply outnumbered.