To My Lovely and Dear Friend,
A while ago I wrote this, actually it really wasn’t that long ago. I was feeling, as you can tell alone in the world of parenting, both for my choices and for the needs of my children. I reached out to a few moms whose parenting styles I admired. They were kind and loving mothers whose patience seemed endless. I cried and I shared my struggles and fears; there words and support were comforting and in the end I pulled my children close to me and the hubs and I agreed to keep them protected within us a bit longer.
Never forget, your child was given to YOU for a reason, because you are the mother they need. You have the intelligence, heart and spirit to care for, love, protect and raise your child with what they need. Other parents with their philosophies are not raising your child – because their way is not what your child needs. You were called to raise your child; this was not a whimsical decision on Gods part. Be faithful to this calling, even in the face of others who wish to question and belittle your work.
After my own journey into “lonely parenting” and making the commitment that I would do what was right for my children even if it meant I had no friends in the process, I suddenly found myself surrounded by mothers who are raising children like mine. Children who suffer from anxiety when separated too early from home and the comfort and reassurance of Mama and Daddy, who are their best selves when they are given freedom of choice and expression and who always, always want to know we are here whenever they call for us. I could make choices that would make parenting easier. I could kick my kids out of our bed, I could insist they go to off to toddlerville pre-pre-education to learn to be socialized like puppies and I could tell them what they will do and when verses living a child-led lifestyle, but hey, then my kids would just be manufactured mini me’s and I like my kids too much to completely alter their spirits.
How are our children supposed to be amazing if we never let them BE amazing? And let’s not forget, becoming a truly amazing grown-up comes with some growing pains (you know, the loud, scary, needy, rambunctious, fit-throwing, co-sleeping, endless question asking, negotiating every rule in the book kind of pains!)
Welcome to the fold my friend.
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Your Mothering Heart Has a Home
I am a free spirit, growing in my creative desires. I write, read, sew, knit, craft and garden. I am striving to live a more natural life everyday for Mother Earth but mostly for the health and well being of my children. I am above all committed to my family, my hilarious husband and life partner of 15 years makes sure I laugh every day. We cloth diaper, babywear, share sleep, and generally live a child led existence. I am strongly against the idea that children must be socialized but believe vehemently in the idea that children need their parents close and always - until. Until they are ready to leave and explore. Lest you think my life is too tranquil and nothing but sitting and reading books while children play with handmade toys; I spend the better part of my days wiping noses and butts, cooking, cleaning, cooking and cleaning some more, figuring out where that (insert any bizarre item you can think of here) came from, and explaining why Mama needs a TO and nap. Above all, I am human. I fail myself and family everyday and every day I am committed to give tomorrow another shot. Because after all, tomorrow will provide another opportunity to smile and laugh!
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3 comments:
We too have a child who struggled with letting go and needed us a bit longer than other children seemed to need their parents. I wish I'd known you 8 years ago when I brought my son home! We too have had a family bed. Our son just began sleeping in his own cot next to our bed, at 8 and a half years old. He needed us, so we let him stay for as long as he needed.
Anon,
Good for you! I have a cousin who had one son who slept in their room until his pre-teens and is so well adjustd today (a college student). When I think about how many years my children and I will live seperatly in the long course of life, suddenly sharing our sleep for a few years seems like a very small decision. Enjoy it!
PS - thanks for stopping by!
I'm usually afraid to admit that we still co-sleep with our almost 4 year old. My husband spends most of his nights sleeping next to my 6 year old. I think he does that, though, because it's quieter and he has more room, to be honest. But it's also because it's how my son is comfortable. And like you said, they won't need us forever.
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