I am not sure I say this enough in general, but I love my hubs. He is an outstanding man in many ways. One of which is he allows me to be me; this can be difficult because I change my ideas, thoughts, and activities often. I am hard to keep up with to say the least. One of the major changes I have made in recent months is my opinions on sleep sharing (or the “Family Bed”). When Rock Star was born he was of course in our room the first several weeks but by three months he was sleeping soundly all night and had been transitioned into his own room without any issues. This lasted until he was three and got the boot out of the crib because his baby sister was on her way. Prior to this he slept peacefully every night and seemed to simple love his crib. We would rock him each night, but about the time he was drifting off he would reach for his crib and enjoyed snuggling in. Enter Itty Bitty.
From the first moments of entering the world Itty Bitty wanted to curl up into my neck. She would inhale my scent deeply and fall into a nice deep sleep. She has never been fond of sleeping alone. At this same time we were still in transition mode of getting Rock Star out of the crib (and nursery) and into his Big Boy Bed/Room. He was not going for it. On a few desperate occasions we would allow him back into the crib and he would smile and fall asleep. He loved the security of that special place.
Forward 16 months…
New family home, new bedrooms and beds, resulting in two kids in Mama and Daddy-O’s bed every night. So I started researching the pro’s and con’s on sharing sleep with your kids and found the benefits to your children to be overwhelming. And once again Mama began changing the way things happen around here. Bedtime has become less about getting the kids off to sleep so we can enjoy our evening and more about offering a peaceful and reassuring end to our kids day which often means lots of snuggling, reading, music and laying with our kids as they fall asleep (i.e. time). I have had to stop looking at this as a “process” and just part of our life, like all the other parenting things we do. Our children sleep wonderfully when they are with us. I sleep better knowing they feel safe and secure and when they are next to us in a deep slumber my heart busts wide open. However, the hubs is now two little bodies away from me at night, and is often shoved to the far 6 (6 ½ on a good night) inches of the bed. He is not sleeping so well. Last night I enjoyed having Rock Star sleep with his head on my belly most of the night, not thinking that this meant his feet were shoved into the ribcage of the hubs. Ouch. Itty Bitty likes to lay on Daddy’s head and hold his nose like a handle (while me she just curls up against my chest). Yep, no doubt about it, Daddy is getting the raw deal here. Not to mention after a restless night for parents I get to hang out in PJ’s watching movies, reading and doing puzzles while he is up, showered, dressed and off to the office where he has to be a grown-up. ugh.
So, My Dear Hubs,
I thank you for being the kind of father to our kids, and partner to me, that makes so many sacrifices for the well being of our family. I know you give up a great many things for us, the least of which is sleep and much chick-a-bow-bow with me. I know we are raising wonderful, loving, secure children and all the time and energy we are giving them know, no matter how tired we are, is in their best interest and what we are called to do. Thank you for being my partner, support and greatest love while on this journey of parenthood.
I love you deeply, unconditionally and forever,
A.
Monday, March 29, 2010
I Love My Hubs
Labels:
Attachment Parenting,
Bonding,
Family,
Fatigue,
Hubs,
Parenting Choices,
Snuggle Time
I am a free spirit, growing in my creative desires. I write, read, sew, knit, craft and garden. I am striving to live a more natural life everyday for Mother Earth but mostly for the health and well being of my children. I am above all committed to my family, my hilarious husband and life partner of 15 years makes sure I laugh every day. We cloth diaper, babywear, share sleep, and generally live a child led existence. I am strongly against the idea that children must be socialized but believe vehemently in the idea that children need their parents close and always - until. Until they are ready to leave and explore. Lest you think my life is too tranquil and nothing but sitting and reading books while children play with handmade toys; I spend the better part of my days wiping noses and butts, cooking, cleaning, cooking and cleaning some more, figuring out where that (insert any bizarre item you can think of here) came from, and explaining why Mama needs a TO and nap. Above all, I am human. I fail myself and family everyday and every day I am committed to give tomorrow another shot. Because after all, tomorrow will provide another opportunity to smile and laugh!
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2 comments:
Donny and I struggle with the co-sleeping situation as well. He is the one that wants the kiddos in our bed and I am the one that throws a fit because I NEED my sleep. :) So, we have a deal where the kids start off in their beds(most of the time) and then if they get scared or wake up in the middle of the night they are welcome to wonder to our bed. Sometimes we end up with three kids and a great dane all trying to sleep in a queen sized bed, but sometimes our bed is just the two of us...aaaah! To have some stretch room is heaven. :) Glad to know that our kids are any different that many others.
We are lucky to have a king bed, but I still am not sure how our Itty Bitty manages to get us all shoved to the edge...??? Just last night I relented and put and extra toddler mattress on our floor and Rock Star slept there, happy as a clam. He just wants to be in the same room , but not always in the bed (he still likes his space)...can I count this as progress?
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