I have this friend who is one of those spectacular home makers that always leaves me feeling like a schmuck. I can drop in on her ANYTIME and always find her home in perfect order. ALWAYS. I don’t get it. Last Thanksgiving while hosting the hubs family, my oven went out mid-dinner making. I called my friend (who is also my neighbor) knowing they were not home to let her know I needed to bum her kitchen. Now when I leave the house, especially after last minute making-a-dish-to-go preparations my kitchen will look like a before shot in a Mr. Clean commercial. Yes I leave it that way, FlyLady can suck it. Anyway, her kitchen was of course immaculate.
So this friend of mine recently had her second child and all I can do is hope that I soon catch her house a mess. How horrible am I? I am the worst friend ever. But it’s true, just once I want to see dishes on the counter, laundry piled in the living room and toys scattered throughout every room of the house. Oh, and yes and I would KILL to see her bed unmade just once. The only time I ever see anything out of order is when I am leaving after a visit with my messy kids. Ugh.
Please tell me I am not alone and that I am not unique because I am sitting here looking at a coffee table peppered with smashed up Goldfish crackers, colored pencils, a baby stroller on its side and a floor littered with toys and socks.
I would pick it all up but I have learned it is effort made in vain. I just wait until my little monsters are in bed. Sometimes I hope for a mid-night break in just so the police statement can show that my house was clean (yes, I would DEMAND they write that in). Otherwise I am not sure there will ever be any proof.
Showing posts with label Housework. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Housework. Show all posts
Monday, June 21, 2010
Misery Wants Company
I am a free spirit, growing in my creative desires. I write, read, sew, knit, craft and garden. I am striving to live a more natural life everyday for Mother Earth but mostly for the health and well being of my children. I am above all committed to my family, my hilarious husband and life partner of 15 years makes sure I laugh every day. We cloth diaper, babywear, share sleep, and generally live a child led existence. I am strongly against the idea that children must be socialized but believe vehemently in the idea that children need their parents close and always - until. Until they are ready to leave and explore. Lest you think my life is too tranquil and nothing but sitting and reading books while children play with handmade toys; I spend the better part of my days wiping noses and butts, cooking, cleaning, cooking and cleaning some more, figuring out where that (insert any bizarre item you can think of here) came from, and explaining why Mama needs a TO and nap. Above all, I am human. I fail myself and family everyday and every day I am committed to give tomorrow another shot. Because after all, tomorrow will provide another opportunity to smile and laugh!
Thursday, June 10, 2010
Toting
If you are a member of my family this is a word you know well. I have an uncle who is notorious for accusing family members of “toting” his stuff. What this means is he leaves his stuff lying around, someone (usually…okay always, my aunt) puts it away and then he turns into a shouting banshee demanding to know who toted his stuff. None of us mind being accused of stealing his stuff, we all find it fairly funny. The only one who I think it bugs is his middle child who gets ruffled because she actually is a thief. If you need proof, read about her here and you will no doubt see that she is the type of person who if your cool shirt, nail polish or high heels go missing her room is the one to check. (close your mouth Nik, you know it's true) Geez...my whole family is certifiable.
Anyway, I digress.
So today I heard myself say to my kids…and I am not kidding you, “If you kids don’t quit toting stuff out of my purse I am going to lose my mind!” Awe man! As soon as the words were out of my mouth I wanted to slap myself.
Then later ,while cleaning the fridge, I found my missing black and silver dangle earring. Yes, you read that right, it was in the fridge. I also had to call my cell phone three times today to locate it while in the house. I am pretty sure I can forget about ever finding my missing black and white flip-flop, my favorite pen or that tube of new lipstick I bought over a year ago and only used twice. This irks me because I am the one who cleans everyone else’s stuff. No one else in this house ever permanently loses stuff and yet they leave it laying everywhere; I put my stuff away and somehow it goes missing.
Darn those toters!
And darn my uncle for turning me into him…just when I thought I was in the clear.
Anyway, I digress.
So today I heard myself say to my kids…and I am not kidding you, “If you kids don’t quit toting stuff out of my purse I am going to lose my mind!” Awe man! As soon as the words were out of my mouth I wanted to slap myself.
Then later ,while cleaning the fridge, I found my missing black and silver dangle earring. Yes, you read that right, it was in the fridge. I also had to call my cell phone three times today to locate it while in the house. I am pretty sure I can forget about ever finding my missing black and white flip-flop, my favorite pen or that tube of new lipstick I bought over a year ago and only used twice. This irks me because I am the one who cleans everyone else’s stuff. No one else in this house ever permanently loses stuff and yet they leave it laying everywhere; I put my stuff away and somehow it goes missing.
Darn those toters!
And darn my uncle for turning me into him…just when I thought I was in the clear.
I am a free spirit, growing in my creative desires. I write, read, sew, knit, craft and garden. I am striving to live a more natural life everyday for Mother Earth but mostly for the health and well being of my children. I am above all committed to my family, my hilarious husband and life partner of 15 years makes sure I laugh every day. We cloth diaper, babywear, share sleep, and generally live a child led existence. I am strongly against the idea that children must be socialized but believe vehemently in the idea that children need their parents close and always - until. Until they are ready to leave and explore. Lest you think my life is too tranquil and nothing but sitting and reading books while children play with handmade toys; I spend the better part of my days wiping noses and butts, cooking, cleaning, cooking and cleaning some more, figuring out where that (insert any bizarre item you can think of here) came from, and explaining why Mama needs a TO and nap. Above all, I am human. I fail myself and family everyday and every day I am committed to give tomorrow another shot. Because after all, tomorrow will provide another opportunity to smile and laugh!
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
ONE
Ever have one of those parenting moments when you know you are making a huge mistake but you have that internal shrug and “eh” reaction? Me? Yeah, about three times a day.
I hear it first. Silence followed by “the” giggle-times two. The naughty laughter is then followed by the patter of fast sneaking little feet running from one spot to the last no doubt toting something that should not be touched. I know what is happening: messes are being made, things are being shoved into the toilet, lotion bottles are being emptied, diaper cream is being smeared head-to-toe, markers have been discovered, food is being taken on the carpet, clothes are being stripped off (yes, my kids LOVE to streak), I know there is all around no-good shenanigans happening and yet I choose to ignore. I know my work will be doubled (at least) when I finally am forced to deal with it, I know something will probably get wrecked, I know I will be questioned by the hubs as to how “this” happened and yet I still ignore.
Why? What is wrong with me?
Am I lazy or just desperate for 5 minutes without a little person up my ass?
Last night I was up battling nausea and went into the downstairs guest bath, well I tried. I couldn’t quite open the door. Not a good sign. When I finally wiggled my way in I was faced with the harsh reality of my choice to ignore the naughty; I suddenly remembered a phone call earlier that afternoon when I knew they were in the bathroom but I chose to score a few minutes of uninterrupted talk and clearly forgot to go survey the damage after my call. As I stood in a sea of clothes, hangers, shoes, toys, cookies, a half eaten apple, a few DVD’s, books, diapers (clean, thank God), and of course the signature full roll of toilet paper soaking in the toilet I wanted to cry. I felt so guilty for being a lazy mom.
Then I realized it was 3am and I was cleaning a bathroom. Lazy my ass.
There are two of them. They work at warp speed. They are super-human. There is only one of me.
ME ONE.
THEM MAAANY.
I am simply outnumbered.
I hear it first. Silence followed by “the” giggle-times two. The naughty laughter is then followed by the patter of fast sneaking little feet running from one spot to the last no doubt toting something that should not be touched. I know what is happening: messes are being made, things are being shoved into the toilet, lotion bottles are being emptied, diaper cream is being smeared head-to-toe, markers have been discovered, food is being taken on the carpet, clothes are being stripped off (yes, my kids LOVE to streak), I know there is all around no-good shenanigans happening and yet I choose to ignore. I know my work will be doubled (at least) when I finally am forced to deal with it, I know something will probably get wrecked, I know I will be questioned by the hubs as to how “this” happened and yet I still ignore.
Why? What is wrong with me?
Am I lazy or just desperate for 5 minutes without a little person up my ass?
Last night I was up battling nausea and went into the downstairs guest bath, well I tried. I couldn’t quite open the door. Not a good sign. When I finally wiggled my way in I was faced with the harsh reality of my choice to ignore the naughty; I suddenly remembered a phone call earlier that afternoon when I knew they were in the bathroom but I chose to score a few minutes of uninterrupted talk and clearly forgot to go survey the damage after my call. As I stood in a sea of clothes, hangers, shoes, toys, cookies, a half eaten apple, a few DVD’s, books, diapers (clean, thank God), and of course the signature full roll of toilet paper soaking in the toilet I wanted to cry. I felt so guilty for being a lazy mom.
Then I realized it was 3am and I was cleaning a bathroom. Lazy my ass.
There are two of them. They work at warp speed. They are super-human. There is only one of me.
ME ONE.
THEM MAAANY.
I am simply outnumbered.
I am a free spirit, growing in my creative desires. I write, read, sew, knit, craft and garden. I am striving to live a more natural life everyday for Mother Earth but mostly for the health and well being of my children. I am above all committed to my family, my hilarious husband and life partner of 15 years makes sure I laugh every day. We cloth diaper, babywear, share sleep, and generally live a child led existence. I am strongly against the idea that children must be socialized but believe vehemently in the idea that children need their parents close and always - until. Until they are ready to leave and explore. Lest you think my life is too tranquil and nothing but sitting and reading books while children play with handmade toys; I spend the better part of my days wiping noses and butts, cooking, cleaning, cooking and cleaning some more, figuring out where that (insert any bizarre item you can think of here) came from, and explaining why Mama needs a TO and nap. Above all, I am human. I fail myself and family everyday and every day I am committed to give tomorrow another shot. Because after all, tomorrow will provide another opportunity to smile and laugh!
Thursday, December 17, 2009
Open Letter to Glitter
Dear Sparkly Crafty Glitter,
I give. I break. You win. You seem oh-so-innocent sitting there on the Hobby Lobby shelf. Looking beautiful and fun, begging to be bought and given to the smiling faces of my children. You seem so harmless and wonderful. Everyone loves you, right? You inspire me to create and to allow the creativity to flow out of my kids.
Then I took you out of the freaking package. What have you done to me? Why do you conspire with glue to do such damage to our lovely home? How did you get in my hair and between my boobs!? Your sparkly beauty is now a sheet of migraine inducing scum on my floor, kitchen table and my children.
I would also love to know exactly how you remain completely resistant to the broom, my vacuum and every Swiffer product created? Damn you to hell Glitter. You are killing me softly. I am becoming obsessed, I cannot forget about you hanging out in my kitchen and dining room. I thought about you while running errands today and thought I had a plan to delete you from my life once and for all (can you say lint roller? I know, genius huh?) and then…while cleaning the last remaining scrapes from this morning art event I saw it: The most wonderfully shiny, sparkly, beautifully happy glittered snowman ever created. He took my breath away.
Glitter Snowman will hang for the next several weeks and each day I will gladly attempt in vain to clean the fairy dust droppings you will leave. The hubs has been right all these years; want me to get over being pissed? Just dangle something shiny in my direction.
Thank you Glitter, for the smiles you have brought into our home. Thank you from the bottom of my glue and glitter incrusted socks.
I give. I break. You win. You seem oh-so-innocent sitting there on the Hobby Lobby shelf. Looking beautiful and fun, begging to be bought and given to the smiling faces of my children. You seem so harmless and wonderful. Everyone loves you, right? You inspire me to create and to allow the creativity to flow out of my kids.
Then I took you out of the freaking package. What have you done to me? Why do you conspire with glue to do such damage to our lovely home? How did you get in my hair and between my boobs!? Your sparkly beauty is now a sheet of migraine inducing scum on my floor, kitchen table and my children.
I would also love to know exactly how you remain completely resistant to the broom, my vacuum and every Swiffer product created? Damn you to hell Glitter. You are killing me softly. I am becoming obsessed, I cannot forget about you hanging out in my kitchen and dining room. I thought about you while running errands today and thought I had a plan to delete you from my life once and for all (can you say lint roller? I know, genius huh?) and then…while cleaning the last remaining scrapes from this morning art event I saw it: The most wonderfully shiny, sparkly, beautifully happy glittered snowman ever created. He took my breath away.
Glitter Snowman will hang for the next several weeks and each day I will gladly attempt in vain to clean the fairy dust droppings you will leave. The hubs has been right all these years; want me to get over being pissed? Just dangle something shiny in my direction.
Thank you Glitter, for the smiles you have brought into our home. Thank you from the bottom of my glue and glitter incrusted socks.
I am a free spirit, growing in my creative desires. I write, read, sew, knit, craft and garden. I am striving to live a more natural life everyday for Mother Earth but mostly for the health and well being of my children. I am above all committed to my family, my hilarious husband and life partner of 15 years makes sure I laugh every day. We cloth diaper, babywear, share sleep, and generally live a child led existence. I am strongly against the idea that children must be socialized but believe vehemently in the idea that children need their parents close and always - until. Until they are ready to leave and explore. Lest you think my life is too tranquil and nothing but sitting and reading books while children play with handmade toys; I spend the better part of my days wiping noses and butts, cooking, cleaning, cooking and cleaning some more, figuring out where that (insert any bizarre item you can think of here) came from, and explaining why Mama needs a TO and nap. Above all, I am human. I fail myself and family everyday and every day I am committed to give tomorrow another shot. Because after all, tomorrow will provide another opportunity to smile and laugh!
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Too Busy to Talk
Hubs is taking a vacation day tomorrow as we will be looking at properties for sale. House looks like a bomb went off and the laundry is so deep I am not sure I can actually reach the laundry room door. Have been working balls to the walls all morning on my NPO so I have a HUGE afternoon of housework ahead of me to have us in good shape for the weekend. So, no time to think or write. If you are looking for a laugh be sure to check Nikki's blog out. She is always good for a laugh.
BTW Nikki- I hope you are pimping me as much as I am you. Especially since, unlike me, you have more than 12 readers.
BTW Nikki- I hope you are pimping me as much as I am you. Especially since, unlike me, you have more than 12 readers.
I am a free spirit, growing in my creative desires. I write, read, sew, knit, craft and garden. I am striving to live a more natural life everyday for Mother Earth but mostly for the health and well being of my children. I am above all committed to my family, my hilarious husband and life partner of 15 years makes sure I laugh every day. We cloth diaper, babywear, share sleep, and generally live a child led existence. I am strongly against the idea that children must be socialized but believe vehemently in the idea that children need their parents close and always - until. Until they are ready to leave and explore. Lest you think my life is too tranquil and nothing but sitting and reading books while children play with handmade toys; I spend the better part of my days wiping noses and butts, cooking, cleaning, cooking and cleaning some more, figuring out where that (insert any bizarre item you can think of here) came from, and explaining why Mama needs a TO and nap. Above all, I am human. I fail myself and family everyday and every day I am committed to give tomorrow another shot. Because after all, tomorrow will provide another opportunity to smile and laugh!
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