I am dying to tell...

Keeping up with this whole Santa thing is exhausting. Rock Star is four and the questions are relentless. I am now having trouble keeping up with my own answers. We went to the Mayors Christmas tree lighting last week, where of course Santa arrived via a bus converted into a sled on wheels. Rock Star anxiously waited in line to see Santa but upon climbing onto his lap he immediately started nailing Santa with questions…

Why did you drive that bus?
Where are your Reindeer?
How do you fit all the presents on your sled? Because the world is big you know.
What is your house like?
Where are the elves?
Do you have lights on your house?

By this time Santa is clearly getting annoyed as Rock Star is not letting him get a word in and is being completely non-responsive to Santa’s questions, Have you been a good boy? and What do you want for Christmas? It was freaking hysterical, all the other children gladly hopped up and rattled off what they wanted, snap-snap a picture and they went excitedly on their way. Not my kid. No, no…my kid wants to debate Santa and pick the scab of practical reality.

As I am dragging Rock Star away, still shouting questions at Santa…and Santa completely trying to pretend my child isn’t still there, I found myself desperately trying to convince him how wonderful it was to see Santa. “Wasn’t that g-r-e-a-t!? Isn’t Santa nice? You really, really got to see him! How exciting!”

He wasn’t having any of it. He crawled into his sister stroller and under a blanket and just kept glaring with this total “that dude is full of bullshit” look on his face. Now, his belief in Santa hasn’t been shaken – he still believes. He just thinks Santa is a little off his rocker.

And here is my other issue: I hate teaching my kids that if you are good you get presents and if you are bad you don’t. I just think the association to a holiday about the gift of Christ and Gods love and grace which is ever present regardless of how “naughty” is way too much of a contradiction. Additionally, we work all year to teach our children to not be greedy and to consume less. As a family we are aggressively working toward simpler living…then here comes Christmas and wham! Stuff, stuff, and more stuff. Lists of “I wants” and believing that the mailman exists only to bring packages from out-of-town family. I am dry-heaving a little as I write this.

I am so close to telling. Oddly enough the only thing holding me back is the wrath I would most certainly endure from other parents when my child announces to their child that Santa isn’t real…ouch!